What comes to your mind when you read the word “Beautiful”? How do you describe a beautiful person? Some people will said that a person who is fair, slim and tall is beautiful. Someone with a perfect smile is beautiful. There are many interpretations of a beautiful person.
I categorize myself in the other group of people. The non-beauty type. Why? Well, I stand less than 5 feet. I’m pretty chubby. I don’t have a perfect smile. When I see myself surrounded by my friends, I felt intimidated. I said to myself, “Wow, they are so beautiful”. Because of these features, I have a very low self esteem.
I remember once in university. I was on my way to a class when I passed by a group of adult students. One of the men said to his friends, “Budak sekolah mana yang tersesat kat sini?” (Who is this school student got lost here?). I was furious over that comment. I thought about throughout my class. I was really disturbed by that man’s comment. Just because I’m pretty petite, I can’t be a university student? This question lingered until now. Since I’m a future teacher, I become afraid of my capability. I often ask myself, Will I be able to be a good teacher. This is because there are several people who have questioned my capability as a teacher since I’m pretty small.
I also used to get teased due to my two big front teeth. It was frustrating and until now it has an effect on me. I didn’t really like the way I look. My friends told me there’s nothing wrong with it but due to my past experience I knew they’re just not pretty.
Enough about me, what I meant by imperfect beauties are people who are not perfect. Some people are born small, some people are born with crossed eyes, and some with speech deficiency. I have met people who are small (kerdil) entered university and have good achievement. There are also people who are born without body parts able to be successful in their lives. They are the imperfect beauties. They might not be perfect outside but they are perfect inside.
Sometimes, some people ignored their feelings. They make fun of these people. I sometimes wonder, why? These people have feelings just like normal people. They wanted to be treated fairly. Just because they are a bit different therefore they are treated differently. Employers would not employ these beauties because they do not trust their capability to carry their duty. If they are given a chance, they can do it.
I see my self as a part of this imperfect group because I’m small. Believe or not, with my height I can be considered as “org kerdil” but my limbs are normally formed so I’m not. Being a bit imperfect has a bit of positive impact on me. I learnt to respect others’ feelings. I learned not to look down on others because I know how it felt being underestimated. Sometimes my friends would imitate the unfortunate ones and I’ll get frustrated by their actions. They would imitate how these beauties talk (if they have speech deficiency), crossed their eyes etc. I get annoyed by it. It feels like when they mocked others, they are actually mocking me. This is because I’m not perfect too.
Bottom line is it’s not always bad being imperfect. People look down on you and don’t trust you but every cloud has a silver lining. For me, I have to try and stay positive and be strong.