tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776266205635904044.post3610252805582834988..comments2022-11-17T19:48:51.085+08:00Comments on My Secret Garden: The Imperfect Beauties: 1st Draftbabysbreathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10269285550020299870noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776266205635904044.post-2315160180682458362008-12-14T10:15:00.000+08:002008-12-14T10:15:00.000+08:00ummmm....imperfect beauties.good topics!love this ...ummmm....imperfect beauties.good topics!love this issues. it is normal if you feel inferior about your ownself. everyone feels that.it is a part of you development. me too. nobody is perfect.just...do your best in everything you do. that will makes you look much better and make other people see you better.<BR/><BR/>for your drafts, i think you are succesfully carry out your essay very well. I can see the contents is expanded from your point of view and gradually to general. very good elaboration.love it so muchhanmie7227https://www.blogger.com/profile/05806289905364065935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776266205635904044.post-4402907047305425132008-12-13T21:59:00.000+08:002008-12-13T21:59:00.000+08:00I think the strongest part of your essay is the is...I think the strongest part of your essay is the issue that you brought up. In my opinion you are able to draw the reader's attention to read more on your essay.<BR/> <BR/>Maybe you can give your own interpretation of beauty not literally or physically but what lies inside your heart. <BR/><BR/>There are some grammatical errors such as past tense and present tense.yagamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14259656937249577778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776266205635904044.post-67281219845333403202008-12-11T13:40:00.000+08:002008-12-11T13:40:00.000+08:00hai, back again here,hope u r in a pink of health....hai, back again here,hope u r in a pink of health. the imperfect beauties, an essay quite similar to my old posting. da intro is ok, talkng abt how people view beauty.then go down u talk abt urself which is ridiculous,yeah i knw wat im mean.then u talk abt other people towards u which i thnk u dnt even have to listen to em,n u say sth abt teeth which is ntg wrong wit it, not at al. then abt others u mention how dis people get success in life..overall ur essay is good,got errors, can b improved, and when u mention too much abt ur being imperefct, it kind of repeatg the same thg, so u bettercome out woth fresh ideas stg like dat. k keep up!!lupikirlah sendirihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03539416045925582774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776266205635904044.post-64928354118504131372008-12-10T20:51:00.000+08:002008-12-10T20:51:00.000+08:00First of all, you have an interesting topic. You d...First of all, you have an interesting topic. You did a great job by linking it to your own experiences. <BR/><BR/>However, I think that some of the points are repeated as the readers already understood that you think you are imperfect especially about your height and how small u r. I think if you elaborate more on other features of what we called this imperfect beauties, and relate it to other people but still in within your circle of experiences will be more interesting.<BR/><BR/>There are few grammatical errors especially the mix up use of present tense and past tense. I think what you are looking for the term kerdil is like dwarf. I don't think that the non-beauties word exist. correct me if i'm wrong.<BR/><BR/>Other than that, your paragrapgh arrangement is balanced.Ummi Nisrina Adnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14263430552131637390noreply@blogger.com