Starving program: Road to beauty... T_T

Habis sudah raya & cuti sekolah, now back to school mengadap muka budak2... First day of school je da tido sekolah sebab da start Program Pecutan Akhir UPSR. Macam2 la perangai budak2 ni bila da start balik sekolah. Cikgu2 pun camtu gak... Hehehe!!  

Anyway, just wanna a share my experience. During fasting month, we all fasting kan... Then on the first day of school bile da habis puasa suddenly my superior tegur... 

"Puasa da habis ni, jaga2... Awak ni da nampak tanda2 gemuk. Awak tak meninggi, membesar ke tepi je"

I was like... "Huh? What?" Owh...did I mention my superior is a man? Yes, he's a man... Back in my mind my thought was.... "Ini da terasa macam sexual harrassment je... Die ni asyik pandang badan aku je." Owh...did I mention that he had advised me about my figure before? Yes, he did... Again back in my mind, "Ape, baju aku pakai ni tak cukup besar ke untuk cover aurat aku / figure badan aku?" How do you feel bile suddenly men yang tak rapat dengan kite tegur camtu... You go "APAKAH??!!" kan? kan? I was particular about covering certain part of my figure. Bukan nak tunjuk alim tp I'm more comfortable covering them... I'm not comfortable wearing tight clothes that show off my figure... (in other words, I'm not confident in my figure.. Hahaha)   I don't have skinny/perfect figure as people call the 'hour glass' figure. nope.. I'm more on the chubby & curvier side.. I was skinny before i hit puberty. After that, GROWTH SPURT!!! Tu pun bukan meninggi. penambahan lelemak ke tepi... hehehe...

I have (present tense there okayyy!!) low metabolism rate. So that means I don't pass motion every day like people with high metabolism rate (thats why they're skinny...) I tried every ways to increase my metabolism rate but my body doesn't really follow my wish. I had tried exercising, eating lots of fibre (veges & fruits), apple vinegar, drinking lots of water, eating small portion but regularly, etc but none of it helps to reduce my weight. Usually during fasting month we shed some kilos, right? I didn't!!! And I wasn't even eating much...!! Pelik betulllllll.....! I guess i had achieved my ideal weight kot...

I was heavier during student days, now i have lost my chubbiness a lil. My frens & family told me I've become smaller... So i'm confused la sekarang... gemuk ke sudah kecik??

The only method i haven't tried to lose weight is starving... Yeah, i don't believe in starving to lose weight. Good diet & good exercise leads to losing weight. BUT... I will try it and show to that guy how his words have huge effect on me... Yeay, I'm torturing myself as a way to torture him... (I'm mental!!) Owhh...did I mention that i lost weight last year because i couldn't eat for 3days. i was sick ye, not simply2 xmo makan... huhuh...

So far, i don't feel any kurus effect. I jut feel hungry... huuuu~~~

Mr..... nak tengok saya kurus sangat kan. I'll let you see how i'm suffering from your words and make you eat your own words (regret them)....

Thank you my family & friends for encouraging me not to continue, but I'm thick headed & I'm so tired of his words...

Owh...did I mention our school has three other female teachers and they're beautiful? They are... They are tall and skinny and beautiful. Even after delivering a baby, one of them still looks amazing. Skinnier than before pregnancy... (i guess sebab tu kot I nampak gemuks...! T_T ) Yes they are tall & skinny, I'm short and fat... Fine, I'm an eyesore to your eyes... I'll just get out of your way when you see me... RUNNNN!!

Pasni....nak pakai baju besar2 je pi sekolah. Pakai baju lama2... Kalau boleh pakai jubah pi sekolah memang da pakai da... Pakai baju besar untuk sembunyikan figure. Tak nak da org pandang figure. So uncomfortable... Baju baru2 yg nampak menarik perhatian simpan kat rumah pakai pi kenduri...